How to Find the Right Therapist
When you think about how to find the right therapist, the process can be extremely daunting. What do you google to find one? Do they take my insurance? What does their therapeutic process look like? Do I want in person or telehealth? The simplest and most often searched is diagnosis + therapist + near me/where you live.
Once you land on “anxiety therapist in Woodbridge, VA” or “anxiety therapist near me” (for example) how do I know that they will work for me? Do I go with the first few hits and the big names? How do I know that this is a good therapist once I get scheduled? Can I fire a therapist once I start seeing them? It’s at times so overwhelming that you don’t do it at all.
I know.
I’ve been there too.
I’ve tried the bigger names, and sometimes have had to settle for a subpar therapist because I didn’t have the energy to try out another one. Or the therapist was great, but there was a limit of time for shorter sessions than were helpful. Even with limited energy the tips below can help you weed out some of the bad ones.
How to Search For a Therapist
First, congratulate yourself for making a really big step in starting the search for a good therapist and to get yourself on the path of healing.
Second, figure out what keywords you need to search. We have all done the doctor google searching. If you’ve narrowed your search down to obsessive compulsive disorder or post traumatic stress disorder, you would search for these key words. Now, if you don’t have those you can simply narrow down to ‘therapist’ or ‘counselor’ in your area. A bit about how therapist licenses work, we can only see clients who are in the state that we are licensed in. Which means, you don’t actually have to see a therapist who is in your town if you are open to virtual sessions. These are a great option in terms of care and we will be having another blog post about this very topic soon. But Megan- the search just opened up to a therapist in all of Virginia, what now?
Most therapists advertise on psychology today (PT), but may also have their own website. While both might have the same information, you can start to assess the vibe of the therapist. Larger platforms like PT often have word limits that shorten our ability to show you who we are. This search engine also allows you to easily look at what the therapist treats, what insurances they take and their license number. This is a great jumping off point and leads us to a million questions: does this therapist offer a 15 minute free consultation call? How do I vet this clinician past their profile? If they don’t you can roll the dice and trust your intuition to just get started with someone. Most therapists will be able to offer you basic skills for anxiety or depression, but sometimes the fit is wrong.
Which leads us to the last thing we want to figure out. What would help someone be the best therapist for you? Do you want someone who is empathetic and just listens? Do you want a directive counselor who will challenge negative self talk? What about someone who might hold you accountable to making changes? Therapists can do all of these things, some more so than others, this is the benefit of touching base with someone first prior to scheduling a session.
What to Expect from a 15 minute Consultation
Sometimes these calls will be marketed as a chat to get you set up for a session, but overall entail asking questions of each other to ensure a good fit. Don’t be mistaken, they could end in you scheduling your first session, however, you can also see if this person is going to be a good therapist for you. For the clinician, We will be asking about confidential locations in which to meet in, are you experiencing suicidal or homicidal thoughts, and what kind of insurance do you have if you are planning to use it. So, how do you make the most of your time?
Ask the hard questions. It’s okay, I promise! If you need to know how this therapist sees the LGBTQIA+ population, ask. If you want to know more about how they use cognitive behavioral therapy in sessions, ask. If you had a bad experience before, tell us what didn’t work for you and what you are looking for in a therapist. The therapeutic relationship is the number one healing factor for clients across the board. This is a very vulnerable relationship and you have to trust in the process and the person helping to guide you through it. If you don’t get the answers you were hoping for, you can ask this person if they have referrals for someone else who may better meet your needs.
The hard part might be if you don’t get to speak to the actual therapist. You can ask for the intake worker to have the therapist call you for this purpose. You can also ask the person on the phone some of these questions and see what their answers are. If you work with this provider and their company, you will most likely be interacting with their administrative staff or coworkers and it’s good to also see how they work with their clients. It’s okay if you just schedule and hope that the first session goes well. Another issue might come up, what if I don’t think they’re a good fit on the call, breathe, take heart, and call the next person. With some work you will find the best therapist for you.
What to Expect from an Initial Session
A first session is often one where we are getting to know each other, setting up goals for our work together, and getting a lot of your history. You should get a sense of how a therapist is going to be able to help you meet your goals, feel heard, and feel more comfortable with the process. The therapist should talk with you about the process of therapy, answer any questions that you have, go over policies, and be able to discuss if they feel they can help you or not with their skill set. A good therapist will acknowledge where they do not have the training to help you and be able to get you to someone who is a better fit.
What happens After my First Therapy Session?
Okay, now what? I had my first session and what if I’m not sold. Not often do we get to the change making part of therapy in this first session. Much like you can’t make a friend off of a one time meeting, a good relationship with your therapist takes a few sessions to build. I ask new clients to try me 4-6 times to get a really good feel for our work together. If it’s still not what you’re looking for, you can ask the therapist to try a different approach, and if they cannot, then they should be able to direct you elsewhere. The next few sessions are to both build connections and to learn some skills to help set us up for positive therapy in the future.
After these first few sessions, therapy is what you put into it. The more work you do and the more honest you are with your therapist, the more change you can make for yourself. There are 168 hours in a week, if you’re going to therapy 1 hour, at most 2 hours a week, the rest of the time is on how to implement what you’re learning.
Over at Candor Therapy Network, we’d love to see if we are the best therapist for you in Virginia. We meet our clients where they are and where it is convenient: virtually. We are happy to let you fire us if it’s not a good fit and we will help you to find someone else, either on our team or not, who will best meet your needs.
Good luck in your search for finding someone who will help you meet your goals. We would be honored if you consider us.